Currently thinking about opening readings this summer (June throughout August). Let me know if you would be interested 🕊️💕

13 year old me would think im so fucking cool

george floyd is not a martyr. he is not a hero. he didn't sacrifice his life. he was murdered. stop thanking him for bursting your bubble of ignorance. stop talking about his legacy as if he chose to die. stop ignoring that police violence continues to exist and continues to murder people.

remember that black lives matter. all over the world.

This is so fucking important!!

hahaah what the fuck is going on

Fighting that big Monday mood.

We don’t talk enough about the systemic health effects of casual fatphobia and how much they fucking skew the data to the point where we literally cannot know how much outcomes are actually related to fatness and how much they are related to society not being designed for fat people, like literal design.

My best friend cannot find a bra.

She’s fat. We won’t get into the ~why~ here because it honestly wouldn’t matter whether it was “all her fault” or whether it was a result of outside forces like genes and such, she still deserves a goddamn fucking bra that fits.

And she cannot find a bra.

She’s short and fat, and Fat Bras are usually full cup, but because she’s short the full cups are usually too tall, or the armbands around them are too tall, to the point where what’ll fit around her chest and over her boobs will also dig up into her arms or have such high coverage that she literally cannot wear a shirt with a neckline high enough. Any bra that goes out enough goes too high.

This affects her ability to find clothing, impacting her ability to go outside sometimes, because she has this tiny selection of bras and she constantly has to wash them and when they’re gone she has no idea when she’ll next be able to find another unicorn bra. They appear in a flash usually in startups that die soon after, and COVID has killed most the small businesses remaining where she had even a hint of a chance of finding a fitting bra.

So she wears bras that don’t fit. Or she doesn’t leave the house. One gives her back pain. The other is, obviously, not very active. She likes to be active.

If she brings it up, people suggest breast reduction surgery.

But the thing is, with a good bra, she does not get back pain.

But if it’s that hard to find a good bra, they say, wouldn’t a reduction just be easier?

Wouldn’t it be easier for you to chop off part of your flesh, they say, then for us to cut fabric and underwire to more sizes? As if that is normal. As if that isn’t horrifying.

It’s not just bras. It’s chairs. It’s benches. It’s goddamn shoes. It’s seatbelts. It’s exercise equipment - I just got an exercise bike for Christmas. I had to shop around to find an affordable one that was also rated to take my level of fat. If I were 100 pounds heavier, which some people are? I don’t think any equipment would have existed in a price range that any working person could expect to afford. I don’t think most people even look at the weight ratings on chairs and couches and furniture. Once you start? They are lower than you think. There are absolutely 100% people you love in your life - whether really tall men or just average kinda overweight fat people - who should not be using the things they are using. Who are not getting support from their mattress, their footwear, their office chair. It might be you! You might be thinking “but I am average size!”, but the amount of furniture out there that’s only weighted to about 200lbs? Or 175??? It’s SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE. Get into the Proper Fat? The 350lb, 400lb, 500lb fat? There’s virtually nothing.

Seatbelts are not tested for fat bodies and seatbelt extenders aren’t regulated.

We know about the problems with too small a blood pressure cuff. With too low a medicine dose. With no MRI a really fat body can fit in for a thousand miles.

We know, from multiple studies on multiple oppressed communities, that social bias by itself, with zero other compounding factors, can give people worse health outcomes.

Now add up

+ one of the social biases with the least pushback even from the educated liberal set with

+ having a world that is literally not made for you. Where you cannot get clothes, furniture, or transportation in a way that will actually accommodate you,

+ where society is constantly blaming you for this. And even if you somehow (and if you know how, please tell me) manage to retain some sense of self worth and optimism and determination despite all that

+ that’s not gonna magically give you access to the daily supplies a person needs in their home and out in public that’ll make living safe and healthy life literally physically possible.

If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health start a bra company. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health mandate changes to seatbelt requirements. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health have a variety of chairs in your waiting room with at least some being properly Fat Rated. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, make it easier for fat people to be active by making exercise equipment that fits them, swimwear that’ll actually stay on them, athletic shoes that can bear them. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health ask they be included in more medical trials. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, promote fat visibility and fat people loving their bodies - because hating yourself has literally never been good for anyone’s health.

If you’re using “concern for health” as a shield to allow you to judge and criticize strangers, you don’t give a fuck about anyone’s health. You’re just an asshole who prefers a veneer of respectability when you bully people. You’re hateful and we can see right through you.

But fatphobia isn’t just bullying. It isn’t just judgment from strangers. It isn’t just medical neglect and medical bias. Even if we could wave a wand and make all that go away, my best friend still wouldn’t have a bra that fits, people still wouldn’t have a chair that supports them, a seatbelt that protects them. It’s literally engineered in. And it slowly kills people day by day by day.

Originally posted by riding-the-wavez

So, this was requested by @moonieraver and it is something I had already had the workings of written in my Google Docs. 

This is something that hits very close to home for me. My wife and I spent years in an international LDR (we met on Tumblr years ago, actually!) so I know the ups and the downs, the ins and the outs of LDRs. So while I don’t normally do requests anymore, I had this one mostly written and I can’t say no to something so close to my heart.

This can either be done when you are together physically, or over Skype (bc I know you live on FaceTime), whatever is best for the two of you! 

• lavender - happiness
  
• rosemary - love 
  
• chamomile - balance 
  
• thyme - courage
  
• cedar chips/shavings - confidence in each other
  

Starting out, light a candle that you want to seal your jar with (if you want to seal it– you can use anything you can close up and wont spill these things out) and stating your intent. Imagine the flame and the heat spreading the intent through the candle.

Layer your ingredients, even maybe take time to talk to each other about how you see each layer manifesting itself in your relationship. You are welcome to include something of the other person’s as well in the jar, even if it is something that reminds you of them.

Close up your jar, seal it up if you are going to (I have an easy tutorial here if you need help!) You can also carve sigils into the wax or draw it on the jar if you would like to! 

If you feel like it ever needs a kick, don’t hesitate to stick in in the full moon light, I try to do this with any jars I am working with currently or want to keep using. 

Wishing you the best in this really tough situation– I know it sucks, it’s a long process and can definitely test any relationship. But I will say that any LDR I know that has worked out are the strongest couples I know. Magic is no replacement for commitment and hard work in a relationship, this just helps boost you along a bit easier. 

My other jars can be found here, and all my other original posts here. 

xoxo.